Friday, February 24, 2006

Stranded and in need of help.

"If anyone can hear this please respond and send some help. Our transportation was struck down by a fleet of space pirates and we were forced to make a crash landing in the jungles of Kashyyk. We need help, forward this to Major Blast if you receive it."

We had just exited hyperspace and thought we were in the clear, when from behind a moon flew a nasty swarm of ships, a motley swarm if you please. We had no choice to engage and let Senator Amidala speed to safety.

We flew at them head on, took a few down on our way through them, their cannon fire punching space to the right of us. Except instead of space there was a Naboo Royal Yacht.

"Senator what are you doing! Fly to safety retreat to the planet's surface!"
"Oh mee gee it's just like I totally forgot how to turn off the auto and I’m locked onto one of those things you're flying. Like get these ships off me."

I had no choice I flew on towards the planet, the Yacht following, and then its engine was hit, and we had begun atmospheric re-entry. I jammed on the reverse thrusters and brought my right wing under the fuselage of the ship.

"Target, get into position on the other side of the ship, we have to guide this ship down safely."
"Roger that Rage."

We lost the engines on our fighters in the last few seconds of re-entry, and so down we plummeted all the way into the jungle where he remains of the ships hang above us now.

Jon Intergalactic Gladiator:
You'd rather be on Hoth?
Yes, I would, last time I was there I didn't get to try all the snow sports, I'm thinking of taking up Snow Boarding next time I'm there.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Tagged by a fellow clone

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life
Squad Leader
Delivery Clone

Four Places You’ve Lived
stayed on many other planets for short times

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch
CNN News
Big Brother: Naboo
Survivor: Tatooine

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation

Four Of Your favorite Foods
Roast Pork
Marinated Lamb ribs
Various fruits

Four Places You’d Rather Be

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without?
System of a Clone: Hypnotize
Klone: See You On The Planet Side

Four Vehicles You’ve Owned
BARC Speeder
Republic Cruiser

Four People To Be Tagged
Master Yoda
General Grievous
Noel of Neptonian

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Mission is Underway

Mission codename: Operation Double
Location: Somewhere in space between Naboo and Kashyyk

"So like, where are you taking me? I hope the planet has a mall."
"We're taking you to Kashyyk..... umm what is your name?"
"I'm Senator Amidala."
"No, you're a body double, what is your true name?"
"I told you, I'm Senator Amidala!"
"So the body double is being flown back to - "

"Come in Major Rage, this is Major Blast."
"This is Major Rage speaking."
"Major, we're sorry to report that your mission has failed, we received word a short while ago that Senator Amidala has been killed...."
"Negative Major, the Senator was not on that fighter, she is safe with me."
"Ahhh, good thinking Major, confuse them into think you have the body double."
"Uhhhh yeah that's it."

It's a good thing I was confused, then again it could have easily been the Senator who was killed.

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Body Doubles

Mission codename: Operation Double
Location: Naboo

So we landed on Naboo this morning, and quickly made our way to Senator Amidala's house.

"Greetings Major, I believe you are here to take me to Coruscant?" Said one Amidala look alike.
"Yes M'lady, now which one is your body double?"
"I'm sorry for the deception Major, but it was necessary for me to hide in case you were an impostor, I am the real Senator Amidala" Said another Amidala look alike.
"I'm afraid that I'm the real Amidala." Said the third look alike.

"Uhhh Rage, which one do we take?" Said Bang.
"So which one of you is telling the truth?" I questioned.

"Two of us tells the truth, one of us lies, but lies to protect herself, the ones who tell the truth, lie to protect the Senator, the liars surround the truth. The two Senators you will take are the two who lie." They chanted in chorus.

Standing arrangement:

Look alike 2, Look alike 1, Look alike 3.

Which one shall I take? 1, 2, or 3?

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Major Answers

The answers to the questions lie below:

Lt. Cmdr Oneida:

What do you do for fun?
Target practice, bush walks, diving, FPS games, and eating.
Do clones ever think about dating?
Dating? What's dating? No we don't, or at least I don't.
What shoe size are you?
What ever size they give me.
Do you ever wish for a different career?
Yes, maybe one in hotel management, or security.

Is you an ole constipated.. er .. a constabbale grevious relations.
I have no idea what you just said.

Master Yoda:
Tell each other apart when out of uniform you are, how do clones?
By calling out each other's numbers of course, yes it is hard, but we have yet to find a better way.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator:
Do you think that an army of clones from a single sample would make for an effective fighting force? Shouldn't a wider range of traits be cloned to give a stronger and different dynamic?
We all know each other, and we have been modified to make us better at team work, so we are the perfect clones, so a single sample is fine.

Private Hudson:
How can you guys be the elite of the Republic Military? You don't have any of my genes.
Because we are made to be the elite, so we are the elite, simple really.

Now to get back to choosing a body double.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Mission Begins

We left for Naboo with nothing but a few ARC-170's, it had been decided that we would take the Senator's yacht and guard it. With these fighters went Alpha Squad and Clones 1569 and 0658. The plan is to go like this:
  1. Touchdown on Naboo.
  2. Tell the Senator of the plans.
  3. Get the Senator onboard Clone 1569's ARC-170 and followed by Clone 0658 in his fighter.
  4. They depart from the Palace Hangar followed by the Body Double entering the Yacht and departing soon after.
  5. The Senator's Yacht, with the Body Double onboard, fly’s to Kashyyk surrounded by Alpha Squad in our ARC-170's.
  6. Put on song and dance about Senator Amidala being on Kashyyk.
  7. Depart Kashyyk after hearing that the Senator is safely on Coruscant.
  8. Fly to Coruscant.
The only part that is going to be hard is selecting the right Body Double, but that'll have to be done on Naboo.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

A new mission

Yes I have a new mission, and yes I assigned it to my squad. The office was getting rather boring, and if I had to sit through another speech by master Yoda on refilling the executive coffee machine I would have gone stir crazy!

So I'm on my way to Naboo, for my first Major mission. I am to find and escort a body double of Senator Amidala back to Coruscant after visiting some relief workers on Kashyyk.

Now, I have been asked to pick the body double, and like us clones, they all look the same, the only difference between them is their skill, now I don't want to defend a person who will just curl up in a corner and scream.

Then there's how to travel, it needs to be open, to take the heat off the real Senator when she leave directly to Coruscant. Now, I'm thing along the lines of a Republic cruiser, but it's unlikely that there's one available.

Oh well, I'll get this done tomorrow before I depart for the trip to Naboo.

Monday, January 09, 2006

The New Face of the Military

Over the past few weeks we have been looking for people to join the Republic Military, not as soldiers, but as mechanics, cleaners, and cooks. These people are obviously very important, but are often overlooked as they do not portray the challenging military life that people expect. The guys in the marketing department presented me with this poster to approve for promoting these vacancies.

They said the use of this cat-like creature, "Ratchet," was to grab the attention of young people. However I want to see this in action before it is plastered around the streets.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Major question for the Major

Well as "Constable" Grievous is getting people to ask him questions, so am I.


For the next week, I want you to email me questions, or leave them in the comments asking anything about me, and I will do my best to answer them.


Saturday, December 24, 2005

The Package Revealed

We arrived on Naboo the next day and rushed the package to Senator Padme Amidala.

"M'lady, we have a package for you."
"O my gosh, is that the cake I ordered?"
"I don't think so M'lady we don't generally get asked to deliver cakes."
"Well let's see."
She took the container and opened it.
"Yes, it is the cake I ordered, doesn't in look adorable? It will make the perfect pudding for the upcoming celebration.
"You mean to say we were delivering a cake! A job for delivery companies!"
"Well of course, Interstellar Couriers were like totally booked so I made a quick call and flaunted my power in the military to get someone to deliver it for me."

Well wasn't that great, delivery a cake is not the job of a major, I must bring this up at the next meeting.